


suicide is the highest form of self love

by Xanthos_Samurai



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Character Death, Dark, Gen, Mental Health Issues, Self-Harm, Sort Of, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-25 19:35:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30094071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xanthos_Samurai/pseuds/Xanthos_Samurai
Summary: Every single night, Jason Todd dies.Every single night, Red Hood kills him.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 36





	suicide is the highest form of self love

**Author's Note:**

> I've been very stressed so apparently I deal with that by writing about Jason being a big ol' mess.
> 
> I didn't mark this for major character death or violence because I figured the title and summary sort of spoke for themselves.

Every single night, Jason Todd dies.

Every single night, Red Hood kills him.

Sometimes the death is violent, all blunt force and blood-slicked bone shards.

Sometimes death is soft, something that slides around him like warm bathwater.

Sometimes it’s slow, and Jason relives a hundred thousand moments as he dies.

Sometimes it’s fast, and he doesn’t realize he’s died until he rises again, only to die again.

And always, Red Hood is waiting for him

Teeth in his neck like broken glass. Hands on his wrists like a vice. A body like his own but not his own towers over him like a wall. 

Jason cannot run from himself. Cannot escape. Cannot fight, even though he tries.

And oh, how he tries.

Brave, brave boy. How _hard_ he tries.

And always the voice in his ear that sounds like the rasp of a match being lit, like blood and gunpowder on asphalt, telling him to stay down.

Stay down. 

Stay down. 

Stay down. 

Stay **down**. 

“I’m never gonna stay down!” He spits. 

He spits the words, he spits blood, he spits his own teeth sometimes, and they roll like pearls on a dirty sidewalk, like a scene from someone else’s nightmare.

He spits and glares and is defiant, the brave, brave boy, just like he always was. Just like he always will be. No matter how many times he dies.

The Red Hood watches him like he always watches, the red of his mask as blank as a drop of blood.

“Stay down.” Again that rasp, but this time it’s different. This time he adds, “... _Please_.”

Jason stops. The hood has never said please. The voice has never sounded like this. Never sounded _tired_. He stares.

The Red Hood drops the crowbar. It makes a sound like a church bell. He lifts off the helmet, off the hood. The face beneath is familiar and unfamiliar, and weary.

“How many times are you gonna make me do this, kid?” 

Jason glares, a brave, brave boy with a brave, brave heart. 

“Until I win, Red.”

“You’re never going to win. I can’t let you go out there. I can’t let you be me.”

“I _am_ you!” Jason howls, rage tearing the words from his throat. “You _are_ me! We’re the same!”  
  
“No, we aren’t.” The Red Hood’s voice is heavy, each word another cross he bears. “You’re better than I will ever be. And that’s why you have to stay.”

“Then why kill me? Just to prove you’re stronger and tougher? Because you’re the one they want?”

The Red Hood almost laughs, the match of his voice finally catching flame. 

“No, you’re the one they want. But _they_ killed you, so now I’m the one they get. I’m the one they _deserve_.” He stoops, fingers brushing the curved hook of the crowbar, and rises with it in hand. “You deserve peace. You deserve rest. And I’m going to give it to you.” His eyes never leave Jason’s. “And if this is the only way you’ll let me, so be it.”


End file.
